Another early morning rant

I really have no subject matter to speak of right now. Sure there's plenty to talk about what with anon cavorting about and that thing with the cruise ship, however, none of that matters to me. In fact, just as soon as I started to type this I lost interest in it. I don't want to be around anybody, don't want to do anything, and don't really care. Should I consider this a sad state of affairs or just cruise along with the current?

I have an uncanny knack for getting by. I've never had to really try hard to accomplish anything. Jobs are just handed out to me despite my lack of a high school education or any formal training in anything other than martial arts or BET from the Army. Those two skill sets are hard to translate in the real world though. I'm not even sure why I'm concerned with it. Most people would call it a charmed life from the outside looking in and it very well may be.

Perhaps all I need is some change and trial in my life. I want things to complicate a little. Where's the thrill of victory when it's all but assured? I dropped everything in my life and started over once, perhaps it's time to do it again. Get rid of everything and just start fresh. Some new place where nobody knows me. Find out if this whole situation I've been in all my adult life is nothing more than some local phenomenon or if I am cursed to have whatever I want handed to me.

Now that I consider that, perhaps that's why I'm so attracted to unattainable women. I know it won't happen and if it did it wouldn't work, but it never stops the attempt. Even if it fails 1,000 times all I need is number 1,001 to come to fruition and it will be the earned victory I seek. Perhaps one day at some god awful hour in the morning I'll make a post declaring that achievement.

Posts like this one seem to have a healing factor to them. To say what hasn't been said. To say what doesn't even need to be said. It doesn't matter if it's never read, it's out there. Then of course there is the dark side of that healing. Typing this just to get it out without thinking brings forth questions that you may not have known were ever there be they good or bad. It's a very zen process. Taking the bad with good and the balancing act required to keep the level at just right to avoid steering down a darker path than you want to. There is one redeeming factor to this whole process that can't be avoided or ignored -

It's way cheaper than a therapist.